Pop Culture Confession

I've got a pretty bad confession to make: I kind of adore ABC Family's The Secret Life of the American Teenager. It's by the creators of 7th Heaven and it's bad in all the same ways, except maybe even more so. And the pregnant teen isn't just some side character Hilary Duff sister. No, it's the main character. And drama abounds, I promise. My favorite part, though, is when kids (usually Amy's best friends, who annoyed me at first but are growing on me) will be having regular "OMG she's pregnant!" conversations, but then one of them will slip in a phrase like, "Amy needs to start eating right and taking prenatal vitamins for the fetus." It's sounds so unnatural and scripted; it verges on awesome because it is so, so bad. Also, one of the Dukes of Hazard is the super Christian doctor dad of the celibate cheerleader character, and he sways when he talks. It's super annoying. But again, awesome. The Christian cheerleader's mom was Amy's dad's first wife. AND there's the SPICY Latina majorette character who's also a slut and whose mom is a stewardess and always gone. And her major secret, along with the fact that she really just wants Jack, the boyfriend of the Christian cheerleader, or Ricky, the drummer who impregnated Amy, to love her, is that she's also really smart, and scored almost perfect on the verbal section on the PSAT. Also, she has sex with Ricky and it's pretty clear that she gave Jack a blow job. I think it's hilarious that the slutty character is the only Latina on the show. It is so unabashedly racist. Oh, another important point: Ricky has sex with everyone he possibly can because his dad sexually abused him and he's trying to prove his masculinity. He now lives with foster parents and sees a pretty cool shrink. What else? Amy's little sister is Goth, and really sarcastic and I like her. And Amy's new boyfriend doesn't care that she's had sex (but doesn't know she's pregnant yet) and he's such a geek but very endearing. His two best friends are this funny Asian couple. The girl of the couple is kind of a mix between Paris and Lane, and keeps spewing sex stats.

And the mom is Molly Ringwald. Snap.

Again, I recommend.

Inexcusable

Obama explains his inexcusable vote FOR the FISA bill today:

I want to take this opportunity to speak directly to those of you who oppose my decision to support the FISA compromise.

This was not an easy call for me. I know that the FISA bill that passed the House is far from perfect. I wouldn't have drafted the legislation like this, and it does not resolve all of the concerns that we have about President Bush's abuse of executive power. It grants retroactive immunity to telecommunications companies that may have violated the law by cooperating with the Bush Administration's program of warrantless wiretapping. This potentially weakens the deterrent effect of the law and removes an important tool for the American people to demand accountability for past abuses. That's why I support striking Title II from the bill, and will work with Chris Dodd, Jeff Bingaman and others in an effort to remove this provision in the Senate.

But I also believe that the compromise bill is far better than the Protect America Act that I voted against last year. The exclusivity provision makes it clear to any President or telecommunications company that no law supersedes the authority of the FISA court. In a dangerous world, government must have the authority to collect the intelligence we need to protect the American people. But in a free society, that authority cannot be unlimited. As I've said many times, an independent monitor must watch the watchers to prevent abuses and to protect the civil liberties of the American people. This compromise law assures that the FISA court has that responsibility

The Inspectors General report also provides a real mechanism for accountability and should not be discounted. It will allow a close look at past misconduct without hurdles that would exist in federal court because of classification issues. The recent investigation uncovering the illegal politicization of Justice Department hiring sets a strong example of the accountability that can come from a tough and thorough IG report.

The ability to monitor and track individuals who want to attack the United States is a vital counter-terrorism tool, and I'm persuaded that it is necessary to keep the American people safe -- particularly since certain electronic surveillance orders will begin to expire later this summer. Given the choice between voting for an improved yet imperfect bill, and losing important surveillance tools, I've chosen to support the current compromise. I do so with the firm intention -- once I’m sworn in as President -- to have my Attorney General conduct a comprehensive review of all our surveillance programs, and to make further recommendations on any steps needed to preserve civil liberties and to prevent executive branch abuse in the future.

Now, I understand why some of you feel differently about the current bill, and I'm happy to take my lumps on this side and elsewhere. For the truth is that your organizing, your activism and your passion is an important reason why this bill is better than previous versions. No tool has been more important in focusing peoples' attention on the abuses of executive power in this Administration than the active and sustained engagement of American citizens. That holds true -- not just on wiretapping, but on a range of issues where Washington has let the American people down.

I learned long ago, when working as an organizer on the South Side of Chicago, that when citizens join their voices together, they can hold their leaders accountable. I'm not exempt from that. I'm certainly not perfect, and expect to be held accountable too. I cannot promise to agree with you on every issue. But I do promise to listen to your concerns, take them seriously, and seek to earn your ongoing support to change the country. That is why we have built the largest grassroots campaign in the history of presidential politics, and that is the kind of White House that I intend to run as President of the United States -- a White House that takes the Constitution seriously, conducts the peoples' business out in the open, welcomes and listens to dissenting views, and asks you to play your part in shaping our country’s destiny.

Democracy cannot exist without strong differences. And going forward, some of you may decide that my FISA position is a deal breaker. That's ok. But I think it is worth pointing out that our agreement on the vast majority of issues that matter outweighs the differences we may have. After all, the choice in this election could not be clearer. Whether it is the economy, foreign policy, or the Supreme Court, my opponent has embraced the failed course of the last eight years, while I want to take this country in a new direction. Make no mistake: if John McCain is elected, the fundamental direction of this country that we love will not change. But if we come together, we have an historic opportunity to chart a new course, a better course.

So I appreciate the feedback through my.barackobama.com, and I look forward to continuing the conversation in the months and years to come. Together, we have a lot of work to do.

This makes me sad. I've left the links to his justifications in. I really want to like him. I really do.

New Donors Choose Proposal

I put up another Donors Choose proposal. You can find it here:

http://www.donorschoose.org/donors/proposal.html?id=191500

Be warned, I am basically incapable of getting my thank you packet out on time, because it's nearly impossible to get into my school's computer lab, and there's no way I'm letting my kids send out their hand-written stuff. It's kind of embarrassing. Trust me, I'm working on it.

In other news, I just cleaned the walls of my bathroom. Not fun. It's amazing what goes into keeping a place clean. Next, I'm going to go do my least favorite chore of all time: cleaning off the thin film of grease that accumulates on the stuff on the shelf over the oven. I hope Bob appreciates me.

By the way, Cristina, I've got your white people beat. I went sailing this weekend. I know!!! Bob grew up on boats--his dad loves to sail. When Bob was a kid, they would go on multiple-week long sailing excursions. His dad has been offering to take us out for a while, and we finally went on Sunday. OMG. I was terrified. I mean, looking back, I definitely had fun, but only because I was repeating my mantra of "You can swim, you can swim," to myself. I just don't think I'll ever be able to get used to that nearly-tipping-over feeling. Scary. Although I must say, I enjoyed watching Bob sail-- hand on the rudder, the breeze blowing back his curls, wearing a collared shirt and saying things like "Okay, coming about"--it was cute.

OMG

The ALA convention was held in Anaheim this past week. Are teachers allowed to go to these? How does this work? It sounds like shitloads of fun, I have to tell you. Why?
1. Books
2. Writers
3. Librarians
4. OH MY GOD STEVE KLUGER, AUTHOR OF MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE BOOK, THE LAST DAYS OF SUMMER, AND JOHN GREEN, MY CURRENT OBSESSION, ATE PIZZA TOGETHER. How cool is that? Do you think the pizza came with a side dish of AWESOME?

Emily, this reminds me of your obsession with the bloggerazzi. I have a fantasy about hanging out with YA writers.

Next, I would like to note that I have thus far been a complete failure at "getting really fucking good" at Guitar Hero. Turns out that practicing pseudo-guitar is not much different from being nine and putting off doing scales on my flute.

I am getting my carpet steamed on Monday (huh, huh, she said that she's getting her carpet steamed!). It's sad how excited I am about this. I am at the point, though, that I am so sick of living in a always slightly-dingy apartment. No matter how much I clean, there's nothing I can do about some areas. The bathtub has no veneer on it any more, and apparently the previous residents here were swamp monsters. Same goes with the tile in the bathroom. I can't tell you how many times I've scrubbed them. They're just too old.

It's funny, though, because one of the things that I don't like about a lot of apartments is how new and blah they feel. I don't want blah, but I don't want to be embarrassed when company comes.

Whoops!

My daily blogging lasted one day. Forgive me. I have a semi-excuse: my Mac's power chord broke, so I had to buy a new one. Okay, so maybe I bought a new one immediately, but you don't have to know that.

So, what have I been up to? Basically, I am living the life of a housewife. I kind of like it. I clean a lot, I read a lot. I would also be watching copious amounts of Oprah, except Oprah's suck levels have been exceedingly high lately. My biggest accomplishment so far is that I finally took control of our increasingly desperate book situation. You all know that I am a compulsive book buyer. It had gotten to the point where there were little stacks of books on every free surface. Also, poor Bob's library has been stuck out in the garage. We've lived together a year now (!), and it was certainly time to invite his books in.

Now here was the hard part. I am incapable of just putting books on shelves. They must be alphabetized, damn it. I have been like this since I was a kid; it's one of my bigger obsessions. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to merge and alphabetize books??? Let me tell you, it took me around four hours and it was not fun. I did succeed in getting everything on a shelf. The bad news is that Bob and I can either only buy about three more books total, or we have to move. My Edith Sitwell and Walt Whitman have already been relegated to shelf-top "decorative accessories." Desperate, indeed.

I had a few other points to share with you. First, my desire to be more natural, more environment-friendly around the house has directed me to a few new techniques. I've started using Dr. Bronner's Magic Soap for lots of cleaning, and also for laundry (with a little baking soda thrown in). A little goes a long way, and it really cuts dirt. I've also been using vinegar to do some basic cleaning. It takes me back to Ireland, where each Saturday I'd clean the entire house with vinegar and newspaper. And of course I have continued devotion to Mrs. Meyers. I feel good about not spraying weird chemicals all over the apartment, especially since Lucie has a need to lick everything.

We've also finally completely stopped using paper towels. This one has been a little hard. It's so easy to just grab a paper towel for a quick clean up. I have to keep telling myself that it's just as easy to use a rag. It's also provided some comedy around the apartment: I had to pause and laugh at myself as I explained to Bob the difference between my "nice" rags and my "whatever" rags. Ridiculous. Okay, okay, I'm high maintenance.

One of the fun things about being more Earth-conscious, though, is that I get to look for new solutions to problems. For example, our basil plant in the kitchen keeps attracting fruit flies. The solution? I bought a Venus fly trap. It has been happily munching on flies all day.

Oh! I keep forgetting to talk about my new hobby. It's not that new, actually, but I haven't taken pictures. Ladies and gentlemen, I present ironic embroidery:



Call me Little Susie Homemaker and die.

And finally, a gratuitous picture of Lucie:

An Open Letter to Oprah

Dear Oprah,

What gives? As a teacher, I look forward to summer vacation for three reasons: first, I like to read. Next, I get the chance to clean even more obsessively than I do during the school year. And finally, finally Oprah, I get to watch your show. I don't know quite how to say this, Ope. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but man, what a let down. So far we've had murderer confrontations, past lives, YouTube stars, and Suse Orman. Blech!!! Where are the house makeovers?? Where are the people makeovers? Get it together, Oprah.

Love,
Casey

In other news, I am a cleaning MACHINE. This is both good and bad. It is good because, well, I really like it when the apartment is nice. It is bad because for the first time, it's becoming really, really clear that cleaning never stops. No matter how much I do, there's always more. OMG, what will it be like with kids??? OMG. Yesterday, in a very nice two-and-a-half hour breakfast with my friend Jami, we discussed how I worry about things years and years before they are actually a problem. I do indeed. It's become clear that I will soon need to implement an infrastructure to curtail offspring disorder. ICOD.

Also, I can't find the charger to my camera's battery. I wish I had it this week, because I undertook A Major Project. We've recently been in a little bit of crisis mode at our apartment. Books have started to take over. I am addicted to book buying. Bob has his books, and a lot of them, poor guy, were stuck in the garage. Piles were everywhere. It was a desperate situation. So I bought a new bookshelf, and set to getting stuff in order. What a job! You see, this was not just a matter of putting some books on shelves. I HAD to merge and alphabetize. Yikes, that sucked. But it is done, and I am happy. The only problem is that Bob and I can only buy about four more books for the rest of our lives.

Oh, and by the way, it turns out I like Suze Orman. Sorry Suze.

Why Are People Fucking Crazy????

Now that I am on vacation, street sweeping day poses a little bit of a problem. It used to be that Bob would park in the driveway, and I would be gone to work before the ticket guy showed up, but now I will be, you know, asleep. Also, there is no way Bob is going to be up and out before the ticket guy. It's just not going to happen, so let's not use that as an option. Anyway, Bob moved my car for me Wednesday night (because I was drunk; it was the last day of school). Little did he know he was setting me up to later meet the craziest freaking guy I've ever encountered. I just went to move my car (a day and a half after parking it), and this old man literally sprinted to knock on my passenger window in order to yell at me. And yell he did.

Now, you need to know two things about me: a) I am extremely polite to strangers and my elders; b) I hate when people yell at me c) I am out of Diet Coke (that's just in case Bob's reading this). And so when an old stranger started yelling at me, I did not know what to do. First, I calmly explained that my car was not parked in front of his house for "four days," but one. After he kept yelling, I pointed out that I was parked on a public street. When he countered that "everyone suffers" when I park in front of his house, I also noted that it seemed both of his cars were parked in his driveway. He admitted that he always parks in his driveway, but I had "no business" parking in front of his house. And then he screamed, literally screamed for a couple more minutes, and then I rolled up my window, almost taking his finger with me, and burned rubber out of there.

And now I feel GUILTY!!! Why do I care about this?? Why are people in my neighborhood completely INSANE about where other people park??? Is this a middle-class white person thing? When I get old, will I also get inappropriately territorial?

One of the things I like about my city is that it is in L.A., but it is small and still feels like a community. Something that gets on my nerves, though, are entitled freaks. I need to stay, the entitled freaks need to leave. Or leave me the hell alone.

Day Two of Vacation

In this, my second day of my first work-free summer since I was 14, I have decided I will set some goals for vacation. These are not like New Year's resolutions, I would like to point out, though, as I think resolutions are really just another way for girls to hate themselves. So here, the goals:

1. Clean/organize at least three drawers/storage spaces a week.

2. Go outside.

3. Watch Oprah daily, except when it's one of those episodes where people confront murderers (Ahem, Oprah, wait to fuck it up on my first day of vacation).

4. Write on this blog daily, even if no one reads it.

5. Do some actual writing.

6. Finish watching the Brotherhood 2.0 vlogs.

7. Get really fucking good at Guitar Hero.

8. Read like crazy.

I can't help myself

Also:

Complications in Your Pants

Good Omens in Your Pants

and, forgive me,

The Tao of Pooh in Your Pants

Awesome.

In your pants

My new favorite people, John and Hank Green have this thing where every book title is funnier when you add the term "in your pants." John and Hank Green are geniuses. Here, some of the highlights from my personal library:

The Shock of the New in Your Pants

Let it Blurt in Your Pants

Backlash in Your Pants

The Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing in Your Pants

An Honorable Profession in Your Pants

The Dharma Bums in Your Pants

(obvious, but still fun) Inferno in Your Pants (also, certainly better than The Divine Comedy in Your Pants)

The Hours in Your Pants

Eleven Minutes in Your Pants

Running with Scissors in Your Pants (not recommended)

How to be Alone in Your Pants

The Great Santini in Your Pants

Things Fall Apart in Your Pants

Flaubert's Parrot in Your Pants

and that classic, The Joke in Your Pants

Anyway, I could literally do this for hours. I urge you to do an In Your Pants review of your library.

AH!

Okay, I am going to try to keep up with this more. I always think of stuff I want to talk about, but then I forget. So, while I'm at it:

1. I have discovered that I have a slight infatuation with Whole Foods. I mean, I'd been in a few, but the new one near my house was overwhelming. I almost bought vegan shoes. The was a wall off Mrs. Meyers products. They had Ed Belgley, Jr.'s cleaning stuff. It was awesome. I've returned a few times for cleaning products and CFLs (we finally switched the whole apartment over) and I just can't help myself. Freaking Whole Foods. Oh, by the way, I don't actually buy food there--that would just be silly.

2. Bob and I met Emily and her friend Peattie at Father's Office today. I just love that office burger. And the Rogue Hazelnut Nectar. Mmm. It was delightful to hang out with Emily--we talked about Dawson's Creek and YA novels. Peattie was very cool. After that we hit up Surfas. We got a butcher block, spicy peanut butter, lemon curd, creole chocolate, and a lime squeeze-y thing. White People like me.

3. I have recently become semi-obsessed with a YA novelist called John Green. He is funny and knows his stuff. Sparksflyup.com. Read the blog.

Perfectomundo

First, let me say that I hated Bee Season. It did not make me happy. However, the mother was always on a quest for something she called "perfectomundo." This quest led her to break into to strangers' houses and steal truly odd, random things: a lipstick, a teacup, a rubber ball, a piece of brightly colored thread. Eventually, it's discovered that she's packed her loot into a storage facility (and if you see the movie, they do this part really well). And it's beautiful. It's also clear that the bitch is CRAZY.

And though I did not like the book, I loved perfectomundo. It's why I love tchotchkes. So I bring you my own perfectomundo. I take crap pictures, but I'm going to try to make a bit of a series out of this...

Have I mentioned that I sold out?

I bought a Play Station. Guitar Hero: You are an evil bitch.

I've moved on to cheese

Well, I started making yogurt. We always made it in Ireland, and at the time I thought it was kind of gross. However, I am trying to cut down on packaging, and making stuff instead of buying it makes sense. So I've made a couple batches now. It's pretty good. I sweeten it with vanilla and honey or berries. I like dipping apples in it. Also, I made some yogurt cheese. I put a folded tea towel in a strainer and set that over a bowl. I put the yogurt in the strainer and let the whey separate. Apparently whey can be used in a bunch of different ways, but I don't think I'm emotionally prepared to deal with whey. Anyway, it turned into a pretty decent cheese spread. It's good with the basil that I'm trying not to kill. I also made some humus. 'Tis tasty.

I have a little bit of a cultist back-to-the earth in me. Self-sufficiency, man. Bob thinks I'm crazy but he likes the yogurt so he's not saying anything.